I’m trying not to procrastinate my posting or else my momentum would be lost again. 😦
It’s been close to 3 years and sometimes I still wonder what my boyfriend sees in me. I swear anybody, especially if one’s of the opposite sex, would have already surrendered before we hit our third month together because of my stubborn temper. Being a rather upfront person, I don’t really conceal my true personality even to people I barely know. But of course, I do know what respect is so I’d still maintain being courteous and polite to others, just less a slighter hint of hypocrisy. So you wouldn’t expect me to be ultra nice to someone whom I really dislike.
Since young I’ve been inculcated independence, responsibility and the value of self-respect so I am less prone to stand nonsense. Probably because of that, one slight mistake is enough to blow my fuse and most often I do not forgive because as much as I’d like to pretend that I’m not a petty person, I DO bear grudges. Years ago, I was asked once that if my future husband (that is, if I somehow magically got married) were to cheat on me, would I turn a blind eye and forgive him even if we already have kids that are too young to support themselves? My answer was a straight NO even if you ask me the same thing today. I may seem inconsiderate to my children but why the heck should I tolerate his infidelity? Engage a lawyer and file for divorce immediately. And no, I refuse to hear your explanation. WE ARE DONE!
Which leads me to ponder why so many women still forgive their husbands after going through so much emotional torment and some even took in their mistresses because they were carrying the husband’s baby. Is it worth it? Forgiving your husband because you don’t want your kids to be fatherless should not be the way. In fact, you should educate your kids that it is morally wrong to cheat by LEAVING HIM. Right or right?? Most wives forgive their husband so easily, they tend to have this thinking that by committing just ONE mistake in their lifetime, they would definitely be forgiven! After all it only happens once what?
Anyway, if anyone is planning to leave their husbands because of that, be sure to suck him dry financially! No one bullies the female gender like that!
Hehe I’m so sorry I digressed! But technically I shouldn’t be having kids because, yes if you know me, you should know how much I loathe them! I’m serious. They don’t bring joy to my life (unless they are unbelievably adorable which I don’t think I’d have any as I don’t have the genes to produce such kids) when they CRYYY AND SCREEEEAM and when they grow up, they rebel and go against you! Makes me feel like pushing them onto the ground, whack them with with a thick rod and give them a huge tight slap to shut them up. If I’m a parent I’m very sure I’d be EXTREMELY STRICT to the point of abusive and terrorising. So better not to try. Lol.
Yes, I really don’t mind living as a child-less couple (and I am fully aware of the consequences like no one to take care of me when I age yadda yadda but I’m OK) as long as I have my doggies. :)! BUT in the first place, I am never yearning to get married. Other than getting tied down by the many commitments, you’d no longer make decisions on your own because you need to work as a couple! And I don’t like consulting others for opinions……… (unless it’s shopping) And, I don’t know, I think the thrill of seeing your husband everyday will die down as days go by…. (saying this based on my interaction with the usual market aunties HAHAHA). But all I can say is, I am perfectly fine being alone and I don’t need any man to fend for me.
Off-topic: Why do parents like to put their overgrown kids (of age that kids can already walk) into PRAMS? ARGH stop spoiling your damn kids. Let them walk can?! AND NO I won’t give way to you in the lift, along the walkway, when the doors open and not even my reserved seat in the MRT just because you’ve got a pram!! WHAT BLATANT LIARS!! ..I’m sorry I just thought of this as I was writing about children.
My mindset in a way deters people from knowing me, I know that, especially guys which explains why at the age of 21, I’m only in my second relationship (and probably the final one :)). Because according to my friends, they feel threatened and overshadowed as I’m not your usual girly-girl. During my secondary school years, I distant myself from guys A LOT even when they want to get to know me.
I can be considered as a feminist, but in a different way because I do not consider both genders to be equal. When I have many heavy cartons that need to be transported, I’d still love the males to be the ones doing it. 😛 Basically I just enjoy the feeling of empowerment. You’re right, I’m a man in a female’s body. I want to have the final say.
Talking about girly-girl, I believe most girls out there enjoy being pampered and showered with gifts and flowers. But strangely, I do not even though I love floral prints on my dresses. I think giving flowers is the dumbest gift idea which tells nothing about a guy but a money waster and cliché person – and I haven’t even mentioned about being supportive of environmental destruction. Holding a bouquet of flowers in public is also an embarrassment to me and I’d cringe whenever people look into my direction. Sorry all, I don’t mean to show off and give you the impression that my boyfriend loves me a lot because this dude over here has too much money to spend and he insisted that I hold the flowers in my hands wherever I go to show that he is a real loving man that any other girl would die for.
But seriously, what do girls do with their flowers? They wither and eventually you’d have to discard them what! 浪费钱！I do know of some girls who dry them and use them as bookmarks. But still, you got so many books for so many bookmarks meh?? And it’s such a waste of time! So once when my boyfriend got me a rose, I threw them into the bin right in his face. Cruel but there is no other way to express my dislike for such things. Because there is this myth among the males that girls’ thoughts are the opposite of what they say, so when I told him I hated flowers he thought I was kidding.
And gifts – I’m actually referring mostly to soft toys – are also nothing but a bunch useless things that take up space. I have nowhere to put them but in my storeroom, and after a few years, it would be thrown into the garbage. Lastly, they collect dust and I am allergic to dust. So from the above, you should be able to tell that I’m a very practical person. Want to give, also must give useful and practical stuff 🙂 But most people are unable to achieve that because they usually run out of ideas and give up. Hahaha! Just joking! But having said that, the feminine side of me thinks that jewellery makes good gifts only if they are suitable and nice. But excessive jewellery gifts also turns me off. Aiya, best not to buy any because anyway I can get them on my own with my own money!
When do guys usually give such things? It’s usually on the special days of a relationship and yes, you’ve guessed it – I’m not a fan of monthsary, anniversary or whatever-sary you can think of (even Valentine’s day. It’s so commercialised I hate it GOSH!!). I think they are just lame excuses to get gifts which I honestly feel that if you’re really sincere, you’d get them anytime. And I freakin’ hate monthsaries. It’s a waste of time and money and the memory in my brain. I’ve got better dates to remember like my Mom’s birthday I’m sorry.
And all that sum up to one thing: I am an unromantic person. YES I DON’T DENY THAT. All those mushy-squishy stuff only make me quiver. -Brrrrrr- But on the other hand, it’s good financially what, right? Hahaha
I can’t really remember what else to include, but the above should be the main points on why I should be #foreveralone. So it’s a wonder why Mr Alphonsus Neo is still staying by my side despite getting verbally and physically bullied by me ALL THE TIME. He needs a standing ovation!! WOOHOO 🙂
But penning this post is not going to change anything about me 😛